Thoughts apon returning to California

Maybe ill blame it on my partial drunkenness, or on the jet lag catching up with me, but my mind is twisting and turning and spinning circles around my ass right now. I should be happy because my cousins are in town and iv had planned many great activities to be partaken, yet i feel a strange sense of familiar entrapment within myself, like the feeling you get when you build up a notion in your head that at that time seems perfectly feasible, only to have it crumble from the top down like some awkwardly similar image of the twin towers on September 11( God save all those souls that died this day which will live in infamy, for i do not take your memories in vain). With out a doubt i am disillusioned beyond any self recognition, and yet it does not surprise me because i have no one but myself to blame for this state of pent up indecisive rage within me.
-Bury me at sea should i pass from this earth, let my body serve as feed for the creatures of the deep, so i may live in eternal peace with my one and only true love, The Sea, whose vast expanse and power have tough me the true meaning of myself more than any living being, and whose moods and expressions i can see more clearly than the irises of any human eye.




-In truth i am glad to be back in my home state. The humidity plays a Menes with the mind and serves only to question one's understanding of the ways of nature. Although the thunderstorms were really something else, in no other form does nature display her might more threateningly yet so beautiful as in the midst of a thunderstorm. Heavy rain, strong wind, and a sudden white flash of light that cast ghostly shadows on the objects in the near ground, to deliver seconds later the defining clap of thunder that eclipses all the most powerfully destructive sounds that mankind can produce. I could not help but to feel small and utterly insignificant in its midst. And yet, I have never felt more at one with the natural world than in the midst of that very storm. Could it be that perhaps i may be partially insane to think this, if this be so then i consider myself the lucky because i have no other way of thinking about things. It surely beats cowering in fear and shivering to the bone like a poor hound who gets nervous and goes insane with the very sound of falling rain on the roof of a house.